Getaway
by Torithy
Summary: Tough choices for Tacoma's toughest member. He'd never expected to question his allegiance to the club - until now.
1. one

**A/N: Hey, guys - this is a quick sequel to my fic Casting Shadows, featuring Kozik as the main character. If you haven't read it, you don't have to - but you might need to stick with this until the next part for the background to become clearer. ****This is gonna be a short one - both in chapter length and as a fic - with only a couple more parts after this. I'd really love to know what you think!**

**one.**

They had a long way to go, he knew that. But they'd get there, he'd make sure of it – whatever it took. She meant too much for him to fail.

Leaving everything behind though, the club in particular, hadn't sat well with the Tacoma sergeant-at-arms. But he had to admit that the man he called boss had been right.

"_Listen, man – you ain't much good to us with your head all over the fucking place anyway. And I mean that in the kindest possible way," Deacon added gruffly, a hand on his right-hand man's shoulder. "I know you've been keeping your shit together, but making do ain't right. Not over something like this. So you take your girl somewhere nice, you hear? Work on giving her that kid ..."_

"_But-"_

"_But nothin'. I already talked to Clay and Quinn - Happy's gonna come in for us to cover, but your spot's yours again when you're ready. Any time. We ain't looking to get rid of you. You've just always had our backs ... now we got yours, brother."_

Kozik had been taken aback by the talk from his usually stoic leader, but he had heard Clay in particular's influence in what had been said and that made more sense of it. Deacon was a good president, but things not directly linked to club business tended to get overlooked on his watch.

That said, it had been his remote log cabin that had been offered up as a getaway without a second thought.

"_It ain't nothin' fancy," came the almost embarrassed expansion on the idea. "Used it as a hunting base myself, but it's beside this lake and I always thought an old lady might kinda like it. Not that I've ever been one to bother with all that romance shit ... You wanna take Tasha, it's yours."_

Turned out it was exactly what they'd both needed. Time and space in just each other's company, away from the club and the rest of the world. Time to grieve for what they had lost and to hope for what was still to come. Time to hurt and time to heal. Together.

And they were getting there.

_The sound of contorting metal ... The gunshots that rang out in the night, making fear twist through the pit of his stomach in a way nothing could when it was just himself he had to take care of ... Then the powerless horror of hearing her cries of pain, the wail of sirens ... _

Some things could never be forgotten though, as well he knew.

He'd killed four men that night. Or was it five? That he couldn't remember so well – because he didn't care. Killing them hadn't cost him a thought and he knew he'd do it again in a heartbeat if he had to. He'd done worse shit in his time and with a lot less provocation. Those bastards had targeted his family. They were just lucky he'd made their deaths quick.

Every second of what had followed was still etched in painful clarity on his mind though.

_The damp heat of his girlfriend's blood seeping through his shirt ... the terror in her eyes as he held her in his arms and lied to her, told her everything would be okay ... and the agony when the dark truth of it all was broken to them ..._

"Koz?"

Blowing cigarette smoke into the cool night air out of the corner of his mouth, Kozik didn't turn from his position on the small porch where he'd been leaning on the wooden railing, looking out over the darkness of the lake. What had been a beautiful day had faded into a clear-skied night, millions of tiny twinkling stars visible through the canopy of trees.

"Didn't mean to wake ya, honey."

"You didn't – I just woke up and you were already gone," the young woman shrugged, her bare feet padding across the cold wood as she came up behind him and laid her head gently against his tattooed back, her arms slipping around his waist. "You okay?"

He'd been different since ... then. Quieter, more serious. Not the loud, brash, man full of confidence and charisma who had so easily charmed her off her feet and into his bed back when they had first gotten involved. Not that it changed how she felt about him – or that she could blame him. She wasn't exactly the same person she had been back then either.

"I'm fine," he replied automatically, his shoulders slumping when he felt rather than heard her sigh. Honesty, that had been the deal. No more hiding how they were feeling from each other, no bottling everything up. They were in this together – for better or worse, to coin a phrase they had yet to use officially but which was no less apt for that. "Just couldn't sleep – guess that's what too much thinking does for ya."

Stubbing out his cigarette butt and shifting in her arms, Kozik managed a smile for his girlfriend as he lifted her easily up on to the railing to sit with her hands on his shoulders for balance as he stood in front of her. "I'm okay though – honest. And aren't I supposed to be the one looking after you, babe?"

"I can look after you too," she said softly, fingertips tracing the scar of a bullet wound a few inches below his collarbone. He'd been lucky, if you could call it that under the circumstances.

Her own scars hidden under the oversized t-shirt she had borrowed from him to sleep in, he touched a hand to her cheek and kissed her, tucking a stray lock of hair back behind her ear in a casual but affectionate gesture. "Being here got me thinking," he said, his voice unusually low. "How it'd be if it was just us all the time ..."

For a long moment, it was as if all the air disappeared leaving her unable to breathe. Mistaking it for what she had been fearing – him realising he wanted more than she might be able to give him.

"If I quit the club."


	2. two

**two.**

The clarification was probably the last thing Tasha had ever expected to hear from his lips and again she was left staring at him, struck dumb – albeit for a very different reason now.

"I've already cost you so fucking much, Tash ... _lost_ so much," Kozik said, pain etched across his usually handsome face at the memory of when her grief had been so raw he'd feared he would lose her as well.

_The sterile blank walls of the hospital seeming to close in on him ... The too-calm voices of the doctors betrayed by a look ... And then the stark reality that had already left him numb, broken to her in just a few carefully chosen words as he held her hand tightly – "I'm so sorry, Natasha, but – as we told your partner – we did everything we could."_

A chill that had nothing to do with the cool night air ran down his spine at the memory and the former Marine-turned outlaw cradled her cheek with one rough hand, trying to find the right words to explain what was on his mind as he looked up at her. "I'm nearly ten years older than you, baby ... Thirty-nine, never been married, no kids. The guys aside, I ain't ever had a proper family – just a shit of a dad who only stopped beating on me when I started hitting back and a mom who'd rather climb into a goddamn bottle than face the real world. Then I found you and everything changed.

"But how can I tell you I love you, that I'd do _anything_ to protect you, and then keep putting you in danger? Jesus Christ, Tasha, I want to be with you – but what kind of shitty husband or father keeps running the risk of checking out on his family?" he asked, the gaze that met hers holding an earnest quality that almost broke her heart all over again.

"Oh, Koz ..." Tasha sighed, resting her hand on top of his.

"I wanna have kids with you, darlin'," he admitted quietly. "And I'd die for you in a fucking second. But then who'd take care of my family if I was gone?"

She knew only too well where this was coming from. They both bore the scars that spoke volumes about the dangers his life threw up – some that would heal, others that never would.

And remembering when the agony of losing their unborn baby had been so intense, so all-encompassing, she would have done almost _anything_ to tear that baby's father from what she saw as the destructive clutches of his beloved club, part of her wanted to agree with his plan. Maybe that was the answer.

He could quit and they could start over ... try for another baby ... raise a family safe out of the reach of the bombs and the bullets.

But, knowing Kozik blamed himself and his position in the club for their loss, Tasha was still filled with shame and regret that she had allowed that wracking guilt to keep festering inside him. She knew without a doubt that there was nothing he wouldn't have done to change what had happened. But she had let him hurt – had wanted him to suffer as much as she was suffering.

_Pale-faced and dull-eyed, he barely recognised the almost-stranger by the hospital bed as she shied away from his attempts to offer comfort. "They were after you ..." The words caught in her throat, hoarse as it was from crying, but her voice still rose almost hysterically as her fists lashed out weakly at him. "They were after _you_! Don't fucking touch me!"_

"Happy'd be a hell of a sergeant and I know Deacon would love to take him back from the nomads full-time ..." Kozik continued, more to himself than to her.

"Koz, stop." Something in her tone got his attention and she smiled wistfully as she looked into those bright blue eyes, reaching out to caress his stubbled jaw. "I told you back in Charming, that night I finally came to my fucking senses, that I wasn't going to say I forgive you because there was nothing to forgive- No, let me say this because you need to hear it. What happened was _not_ your fault, honey.

"Losing our baby ..." she broke off to steady herself against the tears that welled up, forcing herself to will them back. "Losing our baby hurt more than I thought anything possibly could. I actually thought my heart was physically breaking and, for a while, I wouldn't have cared if it had. I ... I wished it had been me that had died because I just didn't see the point in anything anymore ..."

"Tash, darlin'-" Kozik ground out hoarsely, devastated all over again to hear her finally confirm what he had back then only been able to suspect while she shut down and pushed away his efforts to be there for her.

But she shook her head, wanting him to let her continue as she trained too-bright eyes on his. "It's always gonna hurt, Koz - for both of us. We're always gonna wonder what it would have been like to get to keep our little boy ..." She knew by now there were tears staining her cheeks, could feel them on her skin, but she made no move to brush them away. "But you know what? I was so busy thinking about what I'd lost that I didn't stop to think about what I still had. I love you _so_ much, Koz ..."

His arms around her in a bid to comfort his obviously emotional girlfriend, Kozik pulled her down from her perch to stand in front of him so he could hold her properly, letting her bury her face against his chest as she clung to him. "I love you too, baby," he told her. "That's why I gotta do this. After all the shit we've been through, I owe it to you."

Her head flew up and she all but glared at him before cupping his face in her hands, her frustrated expression softening. "If the guys had any idea how sweet you are, you'd be ruined! Honey, I knew what I was getting into when we got together and I know how much the club means to you – I'm not asking you to give that up."

"You don't gotta ask."

Changing tack, Tasha pulled away from him and, quickly dashing the tear streaks from her cheeks, folded her arms across her chest. "Okay, so you quit – who's gonna step up? Have Deacon's back?"

"Happy," Kozik shrugged easily.

"Sure. And keep Reef from spending his entire life spun out on whatever he can get his hands on?"

"Hap ..." But he was hesitant this time. The nomad wasn't exactly known for his patience.

"Sure – I guess it'd be pretty hard to toke up if you're in an iron lung ... Is Hap gonna have to take on that new prospect of yours too? 'Cos you know he scares the kid rigid ..."

"We got other guys, babe" he said. "Happy's the obvious choice for sergeant – don't mean he gotta start running things. That's Deacon's job – and then there's Kenzie, Fish, Tommy ..."

But she knew she had made her point and made it well. "They need you," she said gently. "And you need them. You are what you are, Koz, and I've never been out to change you. You don't have to quit for me ..."

Struck - not for the first time - by just how incredible she was to him, a smile tugged at Kozik's lips. But it was a smile she dashed just as quickly.

"Not when we're not forever."


	3. three

**three.**

The tension in his body was plain as day as he turned his back on her to lean on the wooden railing, his head bowed in what she at first mistook for defeat.

Tasha chewed on her lip guiltily and sighed. "That wasn't meant to sound so melodramatic-"

"Go inside."

The words were cold, harsh. It was a tone she'd never heard from him, though she could well imagine others had been on the receiving end of it before. Never her though. Even their worst rows were all fire, the heat usually spilling over into something more and ultimately resulting in the kind of make-up sex that left them both physically incapable of continuing whatever argument they'd gotten into – loved up and, perhaps more importantly, exhausted as they were.

"Kozik ..."

"Go the fuck inside," he repeated. Hands clenched, voice hard. "Seriously, Tasha, I ain't shitting around – get outta here before I do something I fucking regret."

"Koz, please. I just-" She was cut dead, startled as he lashed out and punched the wall with one tightly curled fist.

"Goddammit, woman, do you ever fucking listen?" Kozik all but roared as he rounded on her, making her back up towards the door, her eyes wide in shock. Torn between hurt, anger and utter disbelief at the casual bombshell she had dropped on him, he couldn't hold back any longer. "What the hell, Tash? What the actual fucking hell? Are you out of your goddamn mind? I'm talking about giving up _everything_ – for you! And it's like it don't mean shit!"

"Of _course_ it does!" she insisted, recovering herself enough to stand up to him. Plenty of grown men bigger than the burly biker would have balked at such a move but, even now, he wasn't Tacoma's killer sergeant to her. He was still just the man she had fallen in love with. "That's why I won't let you be stupid enough to do it!"

"So I'm stupid now, am I?" he ground out as he closed in on her, catching her wrist in a vise-like grip that made her wince. "Listen, doll, I might have cut you slack when you were hurting but you need to remember your place - bitches don't call the shots."

"Can you hear yourself?" Tasha scoffed angrily, mocking him with his own words. "_Bitches don't call the shots_ – and you really think you could stop being a Son? You sound like Tig!"

Twisting her wrist so she could see the crow tattooed there, Kozik pushed her hard against the wall and loomed over her. "If I can't quit, neither can you. You got my crow, sweetheart – your ass is mine," he growled. "So you better quit this _not_ _forever_ shit 'cos I'm telling you it's bull, you hear me?"

"Let go of me, Koz – you're hurting me!" Tasha gasped, trying to pull out of his grip but only succeeding in hurting herself more. Actually feeling scared of him for the first time in their relationship. "Ow! Koz, stop it!"

But blinded by rage as he was, her futile attempts to push him away only heightened his anger. And before either of them knew what had happened, the sharp crack of a slap seemed to ring out in the still night like a gunshot.

* * *

All the fight going out of him in a rush, Kozik was horrified to realise there had been tears in the frightened green eyes staring at him in the painfully long moment before Tasha turned on her heel and fled inside, leaving him to hang his head in a rare moment of shame. His cheek still stinging from the blow she had dealt him.

He'd had worse – but nothing else had ever made him feel so sick to his stomach. His girl had been scared of him.

"Fuck ..." he muttered shakily, running a hand through his hair. She was already talking about leaving him and here he was giving her yet another reason to go. But much as he wouldn't blame her, he couldn't stand the thought of going back to life without her.

Taking a deep breath, not entirely sure he wouldn't find her pointing his own Glock at his head, Kozik headed inside to face the music. Finding the couch where he'd expected she would be empty. Instead she sat on the floor at the bottom of the huge double bed in a crumpled little heap, the picture of dejection as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks.

He meant to pause in the doorway, unsure how welcome he'd be, but one look sent him hurrying to drop to his knees in front of her and had him tentatively reaching out to lay a hand on her bare leg. "Baby, I'm _so_ sorry," he told her sincerely. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Talk to me, sweetie ..."

"I ... I hit you," Tasha whispered, not looking at him.

"I deserved it!" Kozik insisted, tilting her face up to his. "Damn, Tash – I pull a stunt like that again, you make sure you kick every inch of my dumb ass. Babe, I ... I ain't gonna give you that it's-only-because-I-love-you shit, I got no excuse – I was so far outta line. But I just ... I can't lose you, Tash. And I can't believe you're giving up on me."

Tracing gentle fingers over the place where she had slapped him, Tasha finally looked into those piercing blue eyes, hating the hurt she saw there. "I'm sorry, Koz – I shouldn't have said it like that."

"I don't care _how_ you said it if you felt you had to say it at all," he sighed, covering her hand with his. "I think we need to talk, baby – properly."

* * *

Having noticed Tasha shivering a little in the thin cotton of his t-shirt, Kozik swiped the duvet off the bed before leading her back out of the bedroom to settle in front of the dying embers of the fire they had lit much earlier that day. He managed to get it going again and then, as an afterthought, poured them both a Jack Daniels and joined her on the battered couch.

"So ..." he tried, quickly realising there was no point in even trying to sugar coat things but trying to keep his tone light. As light as it could be when his heart felt filled with lead. "You don't wanna be with me?"

"That's not true," Tasha shook her head. "Koz, I love you so much – that's kinda why I said it."

From the look of confusion on his face, she could tell he wasn't convinced. "You couldn't just jump me like a normal chick?"

But the attempt at a joke failed to raise even a smile as his girlfriend trained her gaze on her drink. "I'm not being fair to you," she whispered finally. "I'm being selfish. If ... if you didn't have me, you could ... find someone else."

"What? Why the hell would I want someone else?" Kozik asked, genuinely mystified by her statement. "Tash, _you're_ my old lady-"

"I don't want to stop you being a dad," she admitted, pain clear on her face. "You said it yourself – you want kids. I might never get that ..."

"Jesus, baby, _that's_ what this is about?" His heart going out to her as he took her glass from her and set it to one side, beside his, so he could take her in his arms. "Darlin' ..." he broke off with a sigh, trying to find the right words to explain how he felt. And then it struck him.

"Koz?" This time it was Tasha's turn to be confused, feeling him pull away only to kneel in front of her, his hands taking hers. "What are you doing?"

"Marry me," Kozik said simply, looking up at her hopefully. "I know I'm an asshole sometimes and I must drive you up the fucking walls, but I love you, Tash – will you marry me?"

* * *

**to be continued ... **


	4. four

**four.**

"You're kinda killing me here, kiddo," Kozik said, trying to hide the fact he was genuinely nervous about her response. He'd already reconciled himself to the fact she wasn't just going to hurl herself into his arms with a resounding _yes_, disappointing as that was.

"Koz ..." Tasha sighed. "I love you, you know that ..."

"But you don't want to marry me."

"I don't want you to end up resenting being stuck with me," she said softly, fresh tears springing into her eyes at the thought. "I couldn't handle you hating me."

"Honey, you're talking crazy," Kozik told her gently, lifting their joined hands to his lips to kiss her fingers. "That's never, _ever_ gonna happen – I'm only ever gonna want _you_. I said you were mine and yeah, I was being a shit about it – but that doesn't make it less true. You _are_ mine. And I'm _yours_." Tracing the outline of her tattoo, he looked up at her seriously. "You got this for me, let me do this for you ... For us. Marry me, Tash."

"Oh Koz ..." she whispered, the ghost of a smile tugging at her lips as she made up her mind. She knew how he felt about her, how she felt about him and - wondering why she was even making it more complicated than it needed to be – she started to nod.

"Is that a yes?" Kozik hardly dared to ask, leaning in to brush a kiss against her lips as his hands slid over her thighs and around her waist, his forehead resting against hers. "Tell me that's a fucking yes, baby ..."

Her lips parting under his, arms going around his neck, hands in his hair, Tasha nodded again. "Yes," she managed against his mouth, the smile spreading as one kiss melted into another. "Yes, I'll marry you- _Koz!_"She trailed off into a little squeal of laughter as he lifted her into his arms, duvet and all, and pulled her onto the floor with him, his grin threatening to split his face in two as she ended up on top of him.

Her long hair tumbling over one shoulder to tickle his chest as she kissed him again, Kozik slid a hand to the back of her head to hold her close. "I'll never make you regret it, darlin'," he mumbled between kisses. "Never."

"I know," she said softly, her arms around his neck as she let him ease her back, the combination of the rug and the duvet keeping out any chill from the wooden floorboards.

* * *

The flames of the fire cast a flickering light over the couple as Kozik braced his body above hers, his mouth burning a trail down the soft skin of her throat. A hand behind her knee to hook her leg around his hip, pulling her closer and letting her feel exactly what being like this with her was doing to him, before turning his attention to peeling off the t-shirt she was wearing. Frowning when her head turned almost subconsciously, her gaze falling from his to the firelight.

"You, baby," he said, knowing what was in her mind – the same thing that had made her insist on only being with him like this in complete darkness for months – and tilting her face back to his. "Are so fucking gorgeous, you have no idea. I'm so far out of my goddamn league here."

She knew he wasn't – her handsome, charismatic, cocky boyfriend could have had anyone he set his sights on. But even self-conscious as she had become, Tasha could see it written all over his face that he believed absolutely every word he was saying.

"And now that sexy smile's back ..." he groaned, but there was a triumphant twinkle in his eyes. "Christ, doll, are you tryin' to kill me?" But before she could even think of a response, he'd leaned down and pressed a feather-light kiss to her scarred stomach, making the muscles there flutter in response. "I mean it, beautiful – I dunno how I keep my hands offa you ..."

"You don't," Tasha teased, with a pointed look at his hands as they roamed over her body.

"Are you complainin'?" Kozik demanded, caressing the softness of her skin as his fingertips grazed her breasts. A roguish grin on his face at the whimper he drew from her by replacing his hands with his mouth, the sound effectively giving him his answer. He loved how her body arched towards his under his ministrations, loved seeing her wanting more from him. "Easy, babe, you know I'll do you right ..." he growled, lathing his tongue over one of her nipples before his lips closed around the tight bud and he felt her fingers tighten on his biceps.

Propping himself up on one elbow beside her, Kozik leaned down to kiss her lips again and then pulled back again so he could watch her as his free hand travelled down her body to dip beneath the waistband of the tiny black cotton panties that were all she now wore. Noting how her eyes drifted closed as she enjoyed the sensations he was quickly creating for her, her lips parting in a small, soft gasp in response to his skilled fingers.

"So wet for me ..." he whispered huskily, biting gently on her ear. "I want you so fucking bad, Tash. Tell me what you want, baby ..."

"You," Tasha managed, looking up at him as she ran her hands over the solid planes of his body. Nothing but love and desire for him in her hazy green eyes. "I just want you. God, Koz, I _need_ you ..."

That was all it took for him to shrug off his sweatpants and ease her panties down her slim legs, settling between her thighs with his weight on his forearms to keep from crushing her. She could feel him against her, thick and hard, as he kissed her. And then, his tongue tangling passionately with hers, he was inside her in one long, slow thrust that made them both moan. Making love in the firelight to the woman he couldn't wait to make his wife.

* * *

**to be continued... **


	5. five

**five.**

Sliding her hands over her sleeping biker's chest, Tasha leaned down to kiss Kozik softly. He looked so peaceful – for a change - and she didn't want to disturb him, but she couldn't resist.

"Mmm, s'nice ..." he mumbled against her lips, still not awake but responding to her nonetheless and making her smile as she lay back down in his arms. Her head pillowed on his shoulder and an arm curled around his waist.

No traffic outside, no rumble of motorbike engines. No jukebox blaring or raucous male laughter. No croweaters chattering, glass breaking, boots thumping. No gunfire. The only sounds, apart from their own rhythmic breathing, were the wind in the trees outside and the crackling fire in the grate. _Bliss ..._

On the verge of drifting off to sleep again, the little blonde became aware of gentle fingers running through her hair and looked up to see Kozik awake and looking down at her with those piercing blue eyes she loved.

"Hi," she said softly, a little smile quirking the corner of her mouth.

"Hi, beautiful," Kozik murmured as he leaned down to kiss her, groaning as he straightened up. "Shit ... We really shoulda moved this to the bed – I got plans for you, babe, and puttin' my damn back out would seriously mess with them!"

"Plans, huh? What kind of plans?"

"Oh you know ... the naked kind," he grinned, sliding his hands over her bare back and holding her close. "You warm enough, baby girl?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded, snuggling up to him and heaving a contented little sigh as he went back to stroking her hair.

"I, uh ... I talked to Clay a while back," Kozik said suddenly, his voice low in the darkness. He didn't know what had made him tell her in that moment. "About patching over."

"You never said," Tasha frowned, shifting so she could look at him curiously. Feeling him shrug and then shift too so they were laying face-to-face, each propped up on an elbow.

"Didn't want to say anything 'til I knew if it was really an option. And then ... well, we had more important stuff to deal with," he explained, reaching out to rub her hip. "I just ... It ain't a reflection on Deacon, but Tacoma's kinda lost its way, you know? And maybe I should be the one trying to fix it, instead of wanting to take the easy way out. But ... maybe we need easy right now. I know Charming's come in for some heat lately, with all that shit with Chibs and the Irish. Zobelle. What that bastard Weston did to Gemma. And the last thing I wanna do is put you in more danger, but there's gotta be safety in numbers. In a club that pulls together, you know? And Tacoma ain't really much of a club for old ladies – in Charming, you'd have Gemma, Tara and Lyla right on the doorstep."

"You've really given this some thought. What did Clay say?"

"That he'd make it happen. I dunno if it would be as simple as that, not with Tig there. And I'd be giving up my sergeant patch, but ... Clay would have my back if I wanted to move over. I think Jax would too."

"What about Deacon?"

"I know," Kozik sighed. "I'd kinda feel like a shit for running out on him. He'd get it though. Eventually. Listen, babe, get some sleep – I shouldn't have put this on ya right now. We got plenty of time to decide. Don't go worrying about it."

"Okay," she nodded, touching her fingers to his cheek. "But just so you know – I'm okay with whatever you decide, okay? Who knows, Charming could be a new start for us ..."

"You're a doll, you know that?" he smiled, covering her hand with his and turning his head to press a kiss into her palm. "I'm gonna have to put a hell of a rock on that hand – nothin' but the best for my lady. C'mere ..."

Curling up in his arms again as Kozik pulled the duvet tighter around them both, Tasha laid her head on his chest and watched the firelight flicker as she drifted back to sleep.

* * *

His eyes flying open in the pale light of dawn, Kozik lay perfectly still for a second. Listening.

"Tash," he whispered, already untangling himself from her sleeping form and reaching for his sweatpants. "Tasha, wake up ..."

Shifting slightly as she wrinkled her nose in protest and mumbled something incoherent, Tasha quickly caught the urgency in his tone and sat up, rubbing sleepily at her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, seeing him on his feet. "Koz-"

"Shhh!" he hissed, tossing her t-shirt to her and telling her in a hushed voice to put it on. "Did you hear that?"

"I didn't hear any- Is that a car? Who'd be coming all the way out here? Especially this early ..." Tasha frowned, seeing from Kozik's dark expression that he wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of an unexpected guest.

Grabbing his fiancée's hand and pulling her to her feet, he swiftly led her across the cabin to the bedroom – his mind racing, full of thoughts he didn't want to share with her.

When they'd taken out that heroin dealer for Deacon, he'd never imagined it would be his Tasha who would bear the brunt of the revenge attack. And though he himself had killed those responsible for that, maybe, just maybe, someone else had come in turn to make him pay.

Reaching into the drawer of the bedside table, Kozik grimly pulled out the Glock that had lain there unused since they had arrived at the cabin. They'd been aiming for a bit of respite from the outside world, so he'd stowed it away – not wanting to remind Tasha of the usual dangers that could all too often cast a shadow over their lives.

"You stay in here and you don't fucking come out until I tell you," he warned, reaching back into the drawer and handing Tasha the .32 he had taught her to use a long time ago back in Tacoma. "That door opens, you shoot whatever fucker comes through it. You hear me?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Tasha nodded. Her face pale and her heart racing.

"Good girl," Kozik said, the harsh mask of his sergeant's face slipping just a little as he kissed her roughly. "Don't worry – it's just in case," he told her. "I got this. Ain't nobody gettin' through me."

"Be careful," she pleaded.

And then he was gone. Leaving her stood there helplessly, her slight frame draped in his t-shirt and the gun feeling heavier than it should in her hand.

* * *

**to be continued ...**


	6. six

**six.**

Cursing himself for leaving his distinctive Harley parked out front, Kozik padded quietly across the cabin, his gun locked in a two-handed grip and the barrel lowered towards the floor. Seeing a shadow pass the window and realising someone was headed for the porch. Someone who was going to a lot of effort not to be heard.

Getting there first, he decided being proactive would at least give him the upper hand and he reached over to unlock the door. Standing to one side, ready for whoever came through it.

Grim-faced, he watched the handle slowly move and then a pause, as if the person was surprised to find it unlocked. Not half as surprised as they were to feel cold steel pressed to their temple within seconds of stepping inside.

"Don't. Even. Twitch," Kozik growled, his finger on the trigger.

* * *

There had been a time when guns weren't ever a part of Tasha's world and, even though it had been years since Kozik had taught her how to use one, she didn't think it was something she'd ever get used to.

"_You need to pull this, it ain't no time to get shy," he warned her, his arms braced along hers, his body cradling hers as he stood behind her to adjust her grip on the pistol. "I ain't having my girl getting into shit for the hell of it – it's my job to make sure you never need this. So if you ever do gotta pull this ... then we ain't gonna be talking warning shots."_

"_Ko-oz ..." she huffed a sigh, trying to blow a stray lock of hair out of her face as another shot went wide of the target. "I'm never gonna be any good at this! We've been out here since the crack of dawn and you know ... we could have been doing something much more fun ..."_

_Knowing what she was trying to do, pressing back against him like that, Kozik's stern sergeant's face held firm. But not for long. He never could resist her – the chick had him wrapped around her finger, tough guy or not._

"_Fun, huh?" he drawled over her shoulder, leaving the gun in her sole grip as he snaked his arms around her waist. "This _is_ fun, baby – you got any idea how hot you look right now, hands wrapped around that steel?"_

"_We are still talking guns, aren't we?" Tasha teased, tilting her head to allow him better access as his lips grazed her neck. A knowing smile quirking the corners of her previously pouty mouth upwards when he slid a hand down her arm to ease the gun from her grip. The lesson forgotten the moment he hoisted her easily over his shoulder, making her squeal with laughter._

But he'd been too much the trained military man, too much the SAA, to neglect his duty for long. And he'd fully intended she know how to protect herself just in case, a back-up plan for a scenario he never intended to allow – him not being there to put himself on the line for her.

So while the green eyes staring down the muzzle of the gun were wide with fear, the hands were steady. The aim sure. She barely flinched when she heard Kozik's angry shout. Even though her blood ran cold.

* * *

"Are you out of your motherfucking mind, shit-for-brains?" Kozik raged. "Sneaking up on a brother like that, I coulda blown your fucking head off – maybe I still will!"

"I'm s-s-sorry!" the unfortunate young man gasped, deathly pale. His eyes still squeezed shut tight, not at all convinced that he was going to make it out of the cabin alive. "I didn't t-think ..."

"No shit, Sherlock!" Kozik exclaimed, his fury all the deeper for the fear he had felt for his girl. But with the thought of her foremost in his mind, he tore his gun from its target with a scowl and tucked it into the waistband of his sweatpants. "You stay put," he warned Tacoma's newest Prospect, who showed zero inclination to even _think_ of disobeying his sergeant.

Going to the bedroom door, Kozik froze with his hand on the wood, remembering his instructions to Tasha. It would be just his luck that he'd open the door and have her shoot him in the chest. "Tash?" he called, "Baby? It's me – everything's okay. I'm opening the door, darlin'. You can put down the gun ..."

But slowly opening the door, he saw her in front of him. Pale faced and frozen, the gun gripped tightly in both hands and pointing straight at him. "Just me, baby," he said carefully, hands up as if in surrender. "It's okay. It's all okay ..."

No fear, just caution in his movements, he walked towards her and reached out. Gently tilting the gun towards the floor and then easing it out of her hand, setting it on the windowsill and turning back just in time to wrap her in his arms as she visibly crumpled.

"I got ya, darlin'," Kozik soothed, one hand cradling the back of her head. Hating to see she had been so scared. Not that he could blame her - after everything they'd been through, even he'd been a little rattled. Too quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. And, while safe was better than sorry, he still wished he hadn't managed to terrify his girl in the process.

"Sorry for freaking out ..." Tasha whispered, her hands on his chest. Eyes cast downwards, until he firmly tilted her face up to his and dropped a kiss on her lips.

"Don't be," he told her, in that voice that left no room for argument. "Now, come on – I got a Prospect to educate on the rules against unexpected visits ..."

* * *

Curled on the couch, cosy in one of Kozik's hooded sweatshirts, Tasha watched the two bikers from over her steaming mug of hot sweet coffee. Her previously angry fiancé obviously thrown off course by whatever the still nervous young Prospect was telling him.

All she knew was that it had to be club business and, in that case, she would just have to wait to find out how much Kozik was prepared to tell her. When it came to MC dealings, old ladies were strictly on a need-to-know basis and their men considered there were a lot of things they just didn't need to know.

But, as it was, she didn't have to wait long before he sank down beside her. Sitting hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. She knew better than to ask. Instead, Tasha reached out to run her fingers gently through his hair, seeing it as her turn to be there for him. Even though her heart was already sinking.

"It ain't good, baby," Kozik sighed, knowing there was no way to sugar-coat the news.

"Tacoma?" Tasha ventured, concern etched across her face. Her mind already running through the possibilities. But he shook his head.

"Charming," he said. "That Prospect of theirs ... He's dead."

"Kip? Oh my god, no!" she gasped, horrified by the loss of the friendly young man who'd always seemed so keen to please. Had survived so much. "When? _How?"_

"The Irish – that Hayes bastard," Kozik told her, turning so he could wrap her in his arms. As much needing to have her close and know she was safe as offering comfort. "It gets worse, Tash ... Tara and Abel were there-"

"Oh no, no, no ..." she pleaded, tears quickly springing up her in eyes as she clung to him. "Please don't tell me-"

"Tara's okay," he said quickly. "Pretty shook up, but ... it's the kid – Hayes took him. Sack got stabbed trying to stop him. Shit, that little guy had more balls than any of us gave him credit for."

"Fuck ..." Tasha breathed shakily, trying to take it all in. "Jax must be going out of his mind!"

Kozik nodded slowly, leaning his forehead against hers. They both knew better than most what the vice-president must be going through and he hated putting this on his girl when she was still coming to terms with their own loss.

"And Clay and Gemma – god, their only grandkid ..."

"Gem don't know – she's ... she's on the fucking lam," he said, hardly able to believe the extent of the trouble piling up at the club's door. "Reckons she's been framed for murder by that crazy ATF bitch."

"Jesus Christ, Koz! What the hell is happening? Gemma on the run ... Kip dead – he's just a kid, he doesn't deserve this for protecting people! And Abel ... he's just a little baby, Koz – it's not fair, it's just not _fair_!"

"I know, darlin', I know ..." he said quietly, sliding a hand into her hair and pressing a kiss to her temple. Hating that there wasn't more he could do. That he couldn't promise her things would be okay.

"We have to go back, don't we?"

But Kozik shook his head. "No, you don't have to, Tash - you've been through enough shit for a lifetime. I'll take you somewhere safe until this is over. To your dad's maybe."

"What about you?"

He paused, torn loyalties clear. "It's Jax's kid, doll ..." he said finally. "If he needs my help, I gotta be there."

"Then we're going to Charming," Tasha said simply, cupping his face in her hands when it looked like he was about to interrupt. "No buts, Kozik. They need you and I'm _not_ leaving you - not now, not ever. We can be packed in an hour."

* * *

Watching the Prospect peel away from the cabin, down the rough tree-lined, well-hidden, track that led to the road, Kozik swung a leg over his bike and waited for Tasha to slide into place behind him. Her arms wrapping around his waist, over the cut he hadn't worn since they'd arrived at their secluded getaway.

He covered her hands with his, raising one to his lips for a kiss before replacing it on his stomach. Feeling her lay her head against his back and knowing what the gesture meant. They were going to be okay, the two of them.

"Ready?" Kozik called over the roar of the powerful engine.

And with a last wistful look at what had been their own little sanctuary, Tasha knew she was. For whatever the future held for them.

* * *

**end.**

**Author's Note: That's it, guys - thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Would love to know if you'd be interested in another sequel - I kinda thought it was nice to keep this confined to the cabin setting, but I'm considering covering Koz and Tasha's return to 'normal' life. And, of course, whether or not they do make things work when they get back to all the complications MC life has in store ... If they ever get to have the happy family they want ... Just hit review and let me know your thoughts! :)**


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